Life has seasons. Just like Winter and Spring, life changes.
A year and a half ago, I was in a different season. A more challenging season.
-I was 25 and counting
-I was living with my parents
-I was working at a dead end job.
-I didn't have a girlfriend.
My life was not what I wanted it to be. And yet, at the same time, it totally was. I'll explain...
My life had presented me with two choices:
1. Burn with frustration and hopelessness
or
2. Trust that God loved me so fully, that I didn't even see my life anymore. I only saw the complete proof of his love for me at the cross.
At times, I chose the first option. But upon realizing it's futility, was ultimately redirected towards the second. And the second is where I learned to live. Hope found it's home within me. It was separate from outside of me.
I remember one day, I was taking a walk. I started to explain to God my desires for a family and a home of my own and financial independence. It all seemed so far away. My mind was doing the math.
-Meet a girl and date her= 1-2 years
-Get engaged and plan a wedding= 6 months- a year
-Have children= 2 years post wedding
I was looking at about 4 years for a family and that's if everything went well! That's if I could get a better job and afford a home and actually meet the girl I wanted to be with. I had a ton of "if's" and to that point, I had no physical evidence that any of them would actually happen.
As I was explaining all of this to God, I approached an intersection. There was a car way in the distance. I walked towards the intersection, fully confident that I would be able to cross the street before the car ever got there... But cars move much faster than people. The car zoomed through the intersection before I could even get there. I was amazed by my inability to judge the distance and speed of the car. Just then I heard God whisper in my heart:
"Jack, I move way faster than you do."
Those words proved themselves quite true. Shortly after, I met my beautiful wife Jana and from April 2015-April 2016 (1 years time), I...
- Bought a home
- Got a new job
- Got a promotion at the job
- Got engaged
- Got married
- Got pregnant with our first child
Life has seasons. And each season presents us with a gift, if we can see it as that.
I wrote a blog 2 days before my first real, one-on-one conversation with Jana. I wrote it at the tail end of that winter season. Sidenote: I didn't know that season was soon to end.
http://imaginethecolors.blogspot.com/2014/11/waiting.html
It's a time capsule and a reminder that life isn't bad. It's actually quite good. If you could only know and trust that God DOES have your life planned out in front of you. And that He DOES have your best interests in mind, your life in the winter wouldn't feel quite as cold. In fact, you'll find it's actually quite enjoyable.
So take this as hope for the future. You're not alone and God hasn't failed you. Spring always follows Winter.
